Dating domestic violence stats

Most female victims of intimate partner violence were previously victimized by the same offender, including 77% of females ages 18 to 24, 76% of females ages 25 to 34, and 81% of females ages 35 to 49.[x]81% of women who experienced rape, stalking, or physical violence by an intimate partner reported significant short- or long-term impacts such as post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms and injury.[iii]An estimated 13% of women and 6% of men have experienced sexual coercion in their lifetime (i.e.unwanted sexual penetration after being pressured in a nonphysical way).

You can also call a domestic violence hotline or text/chat the national dating violence hotline.

If you’re worried about your partner monitoring your calls, try using your laptop (using a free phone service, such as Google’s) or borrowing a friend’s phone.

You can use whatever language you feel comfortable with to name or describe your experience; just know that your feelings are legitimate and valid, and that that’s what matters.

When you doubt yourself, know that there are people who believe you and who are on your side.

If you cohabit with your abuser, try to plan ahead of time exactly how you will leave, and do so when your abuser is not at home. Some of our abusers began to stalk and harass us (or intensified their stalking and harassment), showing up to our dorms and calling us at all hours, in an attempt to regain control.

Often they cried, cajoled and begged forgiveness from us, and promised to be better in the future. Some of us found it helpful to send them a text or email saying, “Do not contact me”; we documented this message for legal purposes, in case we ever needed to seek some legal recourse.

Repeat to yourself over and over that YOU are not responsible for your partner — not for his choices, her mistakes, or their abuse.

You (and perhaps your abuser) may harbor hope that he can recover from addictions, depression, you-name-it.

Any physical abuse whatsoever (unless desired and agreed upon by both partners, e.g., with a “safe word”) is completely and totally unacceptable. There are many reasons why you may be led to doubt yourself.

On one hand, there is the gut instinct to provide someone we care about with “the benefit of the doubt.” It’s when you start second-guessing this impulse, when you start doubting the benefits you’re providing, that the warning bells may start going off.

Only you can know what’s best for you at any given moment.

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