Chat to fuck no sighup - Dating after mastectomy
Penny was diagnosed with Stage 3 triple negative inflammatory breast cancer, which she says is 'not something you ever want to Google'.
In my dating profile, I mentioned that I blog (in addition to other exhilarating hobbies, such as scrapbooking, playing with my cat, and being a grandma). I explained to him that my blog is about hereditary breast cancer and preventative surgeries, a seemingly niche topic with a surprisingly big audience online.
I mentioned that yes, I had undergone a prophylactic mastectomy and now had breast implants, but most of the conversation was focused on the blog and the actual writing of it.
It ended up being a very valuable conversation for me, because he helped me sort through some issues I’ve been having as a writer.
This tactic of subtly sneaking topic triggers into the conversation has worked well for me multiple times.
First there's the expanders after surgery to stretch your skin so implants will eventually fit. Then the time comes when you've expanded enough for implants. Try explaining that to the next guy you're dating and want to sleep with. Can you justify when he ghosts - he wasn't the one, it's his loss, I didn't like him that much anyway. Can you believe there is someone out there who will look at you and see you and love what he sees? I am beautiful and I am whole and I am ready for love. Somehow they don't seem to go together, yet they do for millions of women.
I was lucky, a double mastectomy, no chemo, no radiation and no drugs. But taking the breasts off a single woman who is actively dating - that's the tough part! You think it's over now and life will go on as before, but it's not. Having a double means you have no more breast tissue which means no more feeling in your breasts. And a bunch of scars that travel across your breasts like a roadmap. This is the time that you have to truly believe in yourself - when he doesn't call you again after you told him, or he can't understand why you won't let him touch you and he thinks you don't like him, or that you're not even worthy of being loved until your body looks nearly perfect again - you have to believe with your entire being that you're still the same loving, giving, fun and sexy girl you were before your breasts were taken off. This is when you find out how truly healthy or truly damaged your self esteem really is. Proven over and over again by my heart that perseveres no matter how hurt or sad or astonished it has been. Strange bedfellows - single, dating and a double mastectomy.Since I write this blog and I’ve received press coverage for it, I assumed that the guy–being well versed in the ways of the Internet–had already run a Google search of my name and had come across the blog and articles about me. Instead of asking guys if they’ve Google stalked me, I now try another tactic: DO look for ways for your date to indirectly mention it (BRCA mutation, mastectomy, whatever “it” is) without knowing…I call these “topic triggers.” A few weeks after the failed date (which was also my LAST with said guy…hmm, I wonder why?I thought it would be an easy way to cheat and deal with the subject without having to explain it myself. I still had to explain it all to him–the BRCA mutation, the family history of breast cancer, the mastectomy, the implants–but I had to do it while fighting to convince him that I wasn’t hiding something really bad. ) I went out with another guy, who I had met online.Now we have to live the after life that breast cancer gave to us. But lately I’ve received questions from other women about dating after a mastectomy, so it’s time to come clean about the break up.During one date, I decided I would tell him about my BRCA mutation and mastectomy, and since he was a computer programmer and had previously told me to check out his personal website, I assumed it was safe to ask him if he’d seen mine.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating