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Back in September, I wrote a blog post on how to deal with a partner who has put on the brakes – i.e. He’ll wonder why you want to know where things are going, then make you feel like you’re a needy, marriage-obsessed chick for wanting your relationship to go somewhere. you met, things moved forward, then after a few months, he or she suddenly wigged out and said, “I’m not ready for this.” Today, I want to talk about the partner (usually a guy) who has never taken his foot OFF the brakes. I see some version of this scenario on a regular basis, whether it’s the divorced guy, the “I’ve been burned” guy, or the “I’m old and stuck in my ways” guy. Here are his thoughts about unavailable men — specifically how to spot them AND stop dating them!
The most important traits to look for are emotional stability, reliability and kindness.
Another mistake many women sometimes make is falling victim to distorted thinking about the purpose of a romantic relationship.
Emotionally unavailable people need to realize, however, the impact they have on others and their potential to hurt others.
That is why being honest with yourself and others is imperative.
Brief Insight Inventory: Ask yourself the following questions to gain some insight into why you fall for unavailable men…
• What is the trait that you look for most when you meet a man?
The truth is that a good romantic relationship brings out the best in each member of the couple, so that each member feels happy, strong and competent, and can then go out into the world, be productive, and ultimately reach the goals each has for their lives.
Finally, one of the most important things you can do after a relationship ends is gain understanding about the lessons you learned.
He’ll always keep you wondering if things are going anywhere.
In relationships, men want a lot of the same things you and I want (a partner who’s attractive, intelligent, kind, etc), but there is one thing they want most: to be accepted for who they are. They put up with what they aren’t getting, not wanting to put more pressure on a guy and whatever his problems are. They think about what’s best for him, rather than also considering what’s best for her. Sometimes it does; but most of the time, it doesn’t. Is he just waiting for someone better to come along?
It’s a component of the glue, if you will, that holds things together. This sounds a lot like me, well a lot of those points are … However, since realizing that I was indeed emotionally unavailable and push people away I’ve made a conscious effort to change that. Sure, why not, but be honest with yourself and and with the people you date.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating